It's been a century since the last time I updated this blog (lol). I did plan to delete this for some reasons that I coudn't write anything even just a title of my post, goodness!ahaha...so to keep this blog alive, I'm posting this article I've read long time ago from Philippine Star News Paper, something that will spice you up. ;))
Reposted from Business Matters (Beyond The Bottom Line)
by: Francis J. Kong
from the Business Section of Philippine Star
MEMORANDUM:
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: THE MANAGEMENT
SUBJECT: NEW COMPANY POLICIES
A. Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
B. Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
C. Personal Days
Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year. They are called Sundays.
D. Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
E. Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders”. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company’s mental health policy.
F. Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get five minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. For your immediate compliance.
- ahaha :))
Reposted from Business Matters (Beyond The Bottom Line)
by: Francis J. Kong
from the Business Section of Philippine Star
MEMORANDUM:
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: THE MANAGEMENT
SUBJECT: NEW COMPANY POLICIES
A. Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
B. Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
C. Personal Days
Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year. They are called Sundays.
D. Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
E. Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders”. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company’s mental health policy.
F. Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get five minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. For your immediate compliance.
- ahaha :))
(sigh). I was once hired as an Application Developer with a certain prestigious firm here in Davao City (A licensed Microsoft Business Partner Company) and it lasted for a couple of months. That was an achievement for me as part of the company filled with a highly competent IT Professionals. The fact that I wasn't happy with my job, that time I'm facing with distress and affliction circumstances -- a family problems that leads me out of focus and concentration with my job..I did my best I know, but admittedly it's not my best at all..I didn't make it and I decided to quit with a heavy heart 
..and here comes another chance for me offered by my previous client, a programming position still but I just let those chances and opportunity passed by..hayy..and now here' s another chance again, and this is it! I hope I can make it this time..Good luck to me..(Big grin)
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